Our network has decided to adopt a more open and honest style of broadcasting. That's why we've changed our name to the National Bullshitting Corporation. We know that you will continue to support us, because who else is there? We own everything. So let me begin the day by telling you that we here at the National Bullshitting Corporation are committed to bringing you the very finest news and entertainment and to keeping it within the strict guidelines dictated by federal law. We care about you more than we care about ourselves. And all our sponsors care about you more than they care about themselves. We and our sponsors only exist to please you and to give you your money's worth. We love you. We spend all our time thinking of how to please you. We think you're smarter than us. We wish we knew all your birthdays so we could send each of you birthday cards. And we wish we knew all your mothers' birthdays...
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.
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