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(Cheering audience.) Good evening, folks! It's time once again for Decapitalism, the only prime time show with its own guillotine! And we've already yanked our guest from his country estate and he waits bound, gagged, and blindfolded backstage. Now please refrain from taunting him as we bring him out to meet his maker. (Yelling) Bring that son of a gun out here! (The doomed man is escorted onstage and his neck is locked into the killing apparatus.) Isn't it great to cut short the life of a man whose entire happiness is bound to his money? What's he going to do now? Bribe God with it? What a fool. All right, Mister Executioner, are you ready? (The masked executioner points his thumb up.) On the count of three: (drum roll) one ... two ... THREE! (Down comes the blade amid wild cheers. The host reaches down and picks up the severed head by its hair. He hands it to a stagehand.) And Jerry will be right back in just a few moments with tonight's skull hand crafted into a beer mug which we will send to a lucky viewer at home if they can answer the following skill testing question. Which medieval king's head was used by soldiers to invent the game of soccer? We'll accept the first correct answer at 555-1234...
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