Blast Records is the biggest and therefore the best music label in the world. It is owned by Doug Chelmno, the famous weapons magnate. In fact, 75 percent of the entertainment business is owned by Chelmno - to ensure that your entertainment dollars are used to keep North America safe. So support Blast Records' exciting new recording artists: The Cryminals. Fifty cents of every dollar earned by a Cryminals song is spent on the production of Napalm Plus. Remember that we are at war with Papua New Guinea, a dangerous enemy. Napalm Plus is needed to uncover their giant slingshot before it can be used against fish in the surrounding harbour.
Blast Records! They're a blast.
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