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Coming up on Nightcast, the stock market hits an all-time low. Whose fault is it? Unemployed people. War has been declared on Papillon New Guinea after inhabitants ran out onto the beach and attacked a US destroyer with harpoons and blow guns. The war is expected to improve the economy and give the military a chance to test out its new exfoliant, Napalm Plus. And on the lighter side of today's events, the host of the Tonight Show is resting comfortably at the number one spot on the billboard charts after the release of his passionate ballad, It Takes One to Take One. We'll have more on these and other stories tonight on Nightcast.
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