A musician doesn't need to be funny. Music can express a wider range of feelings than comedy sketches. I'm usually not laughing as I post a humorous thought. Chances are that it came out of a dark experience, which leaves me feeling neutral. I wouldn't expect my blog to help my music, but apparently it hurt my music. My music's become a struggle. There are all these other lives mixed up in it now, some of them from my comedy. They impose their interests on me. They throw my world into chaos. They waste my time. I guess that's why they're supposed to pay you a lot of money when they broadcast your work. You need more money to cope with a harder life. Without money, maybe the pressure would build up so much that you'd start having suicidal thoughts. Most musicians don't have to spend all their time on Blogger to prove that they're not incarcerated. They're lucky. They get to do their music. They only let me write songs in my head. Anywhere beyond that costs me. It'll profit someone else, mind you, but it'll cost me. My songs will be seized. I figure that this must be the law because it happens in front of everyone's eyes. Yes, I know the poor are despised. And they read me the corporate newspaper article about reduced health benefits for the poor and now the welfare office is almost as feared as prison, and how much money did my music and writing earn? And why are others allowed to stuff their pockets full of money from my work and leave me with nothing but horror stories in the news about the punishment of the poor? It's a shame when an artist has to do so much backbreaking labour by himself and sacrifice so many years of his life and wind up like this. You put it all out there for the world and you're stabbed in the heart. And then you can't do anything but bleed. So that's all you do. You just bleed and bleed and bleed. Maybe along the way you coin another punchline or two for the comedy pirates. Which of my songs can I keep? Which ones can I booby-trap with explosives to discourage tampering? Was it unsafe for me to post my music and writing? How is that my fault? I bet if I had money I could think about something else. And I could sit in my studio and record new ideas as they came to me. Instead I'm shooting for a sleeping room. I hope they allow occasional singing. I don't let the old songs get me down. I have new and better ones in my head. They keep me going - as long as I keep them in my head. If I share them they might be used against me. Maybe it's for the best that I am left unpaid at this time. I can always listen to them in my head when I draw. Unless I draw cartoons. Maybe I should only listen to them in my head when I finger paint the air. Performing? I only wanted to do that in 2009 and 2010 when everyone thought I just got out of jail. Yeah, they let those guys play in public and post videos after they get out. But it's a good thing I didn't go through with that last show. That was in late August 2012 when everyone thought I wrote my songs but copied the TV. I didn't know it at the time. I just noticed the cold reception. I'll probably end up on a stage with my songs again. It's natural for me to want to sing them. It doesn't cost that much to perform. I'm sure it's within my price range. In the meantime I can get caught up with my writing. Maybe I can overtake my first blog so it won't hold back my music. |
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© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Unsung Praise
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