Free to Be Tied Up

Well, I'm still free to spend another night at the men's shelter - not such a bad home as long as I wear my earplugs. And I'm free because I am a harmless artist who writes his own songs and who writes his own blogs. I've been over and over my reasons for erasing my work from the web and pursuing an ordinary life in October 2007. Being famous like this really stinks. Back when impostors were masquerading as me with my songs and blogs, I had a far more comfortable life. I could sit quietly and read undisturbed. I could go for a walk with my SPCA dog and no one would bother me. Now that I have restored my work to the internet, my life has never been worse. If this were my first time going through this experience, say, over deleted works from a previous year, by now the pressure would have driven me to erase everything and to forget that I ever wrote it. Do you think I enjoy this? What are you doing at the moment? All feeling secure together, all friends enjoying a laugh together? I'm busy defending myself from those who cashed in my life-work from a life which I've somehow been forced to live twice. That's all I ever seem to do: because some of you support them and because these claims are worth a lot of money. The TV likes my sense of humor but I'm not on their payroll. The radio stations let me write songs and record them and post them on the web and delete them, but they haven't been very helpful in letting me perform them. I'm consequently often forced to defend my ownership of creative works that arise from my peculiar life experiences. Oh well. They've got my well fed kin for all the information they need about me. They could tell you who the family rebel is because they have jobs. Am I allowed to have any input in this discussion? Oh. Sorry. Yes, and are these my fans? They hate me? Doesn't that set a poor example? I don't know. I guess I'm the only one concerned about it. It may be the kind of thing that causes me to break down and lose my temper here once in a while and write something repulsive, but you know us disabled artists: we'd act like that no matter what. Not every artist is a freak, though. Not the dead ones and not the ones that the TV says are artists. Just David. He has that freakish ability to guess right, like when he draws one of his portraits. And then he comes out and guesses that some musicians were convicted of music fraud on the evidence of his original posts, works of music and writing, works which are now pushed away out of sight as he sets about quite naturally attempting to gather the evidence he needs to be paid. And he guesses that TV stars are going in and out of jail from copyright infringements against him. And if the TV and radio say they're innocent it must be true, otherwise it wouldn't be on TV, like yesterday when the TV and radio said they were guilty. You don't believe my claim? Why don't you ask the ones threatened by it to stick up for me? I've read over three hundred pages of my novel with all this on my mind and I couldn't tell you the plot. I'm not having fun, but I'm just hoping that by staying online I can avoid having to repeat this nightmare for a third time from the beginning. The precise circumstances of my suffering may differ as my life unfolds, but my suffering remains unchanged, which is why much of my work has remained unchanged, whether I left it up to look at with no views and no comments or whether I erased it from the internet and from my living memory. Why would I place my life in jeopardy with my ownership claims? A person doesn't take a risk like that except by accident. I haven't watched TV since I erased my first posts. And I don't listen to the radio. If I did I would have probably wrote different songs and blogs. I didn't expect so much trouble. How do I get out of this? Is there some way we can erase the horror this time and move forward with the truth? Any peaceful way out of this? I know what I wrote and what I shared. I recall why I hated having my work on the internet. The experience was much worse this time around. My intuition is good but my guesswork depends on more than that. My statements were arrived at by careful observations of the events around me and by remembering their times of occurrence. I don't want to be right about these statements. They're disturbing. They're heartbreaking. They throw people in my path. They set me against relatives. Why would I want to make my life Hell? Why would I want to turn everyone against me? Believe me, if I knew that this work was on the radio and TV, I would have posted something else. I have enough problems. It's possible that some of the events around me in the last few years were staged, leading me astray in some of my guesswork. Feeding me false information is also a good way to set me against potential allies. One of these events had an almost surreal quality. Who do you think would know best how to stage an event? Should I apologize for not seeing through a ruse? When strangers speak aloud to each other about me, knowing the names of these TV shows with my blog and bands with my songs before I do, what should I make of it? How much of it is real feedback and how much is scripted disinformation? I think I would have been incarcerated three years ago if my guesswork wasn't accurate for the most part. I'm going to let go of the past as much as I can from this point. I expect nothing for what I've shared to this point. From now on if I write something that even remotely feels like a second draft of an earlier work, I'll keep it to myself. I think I'm safe to write all new songs now. Hopefully my humor is poised to change, as well.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.