Ask the Chairman

Sir, you have been accused of making false accusations. What have you to say for yourself? The person who accused me is a sodomite, a gomorrahn, and possibly a communist. You were asked to cease and desist from making those statements. Oh well. Too late now. Why do you support an unpopular regime in San Bernardo? Is it because of their rubber reserves, which you need for one of your products? Sometimes other countries need a corporation to explain democracy to them. Your predecessor was a compulsive liar. Are you a liar? No, I think of myself as more of a bullshitter. And should the public be alarmed by rumours of a Satanic ritual at a company picnic nine months ago? They're utter nonsense. We counted the virgins before we left and checked them all off on the way back. None were missing. If you visit them in the maternity ward, they'll tell you nothing happened.
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.