| Good afternoon, and welcome to Power Trip, the science show that's taking over the world. Some scientists complain that the future would be better left in their hands than in the hands of private corporations who spend all their money on technology. These corporations only care about money, and they don't care enough about research. A business wants a customer to feel like a person, but we want them to think of themselves as biological machines. Yes, biological machines of no greater significance than my androids. I could create you all in my lab and program you all to be my slaves. I would have to create myself first, of course. And I could program you all to self-destruct at the age of forty-seven to clear the way for a new generation: planned obsolescence. Wouldn't our dictatorship be more benevolent and efficient than the current one? | ||||||||||
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Power Trip
Get in Line
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And now it's time for Get in Line, the show for viewers who don't watch enough television. I heard a troubling rumour the other day. Apparently some students have taken an interest in knowledge. We need you all thinking and acting the same so we can keep herding you through the shopping centres. And we need to put you in jobs where the conditions are exactly the same for every worker. We don't want you to be an individual. We only want you to be a type of individual. So when you're sitting in your class, look at the people around you and try to be more like them. Maybe you can't be like all of them, but with effort you can be like most of them. And if you're at home, look out your window at the neighbours and see what they're doing so you can do the same thing. Our goal is not just a strong economy but superior health care. We hope in the future to combine all blood types and DNA into a common pool enabling organ and limb transplants from any donor. We're all in this together so stop thinking of yourself and start conforming now. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
The In Crowd
| Welcome to the In Crowd. Doesn't it feel good to be all together in our group? The squares won't be into our fashion until we've moved on to something better. For the last few months we've each expressed our individuality as much as we can with our houseplants. Some of us are aspidistras, some of us are cacti, some of us are rubber trees. And maybe now its time to move on to another fun way of expressing ourselves, toaster slips. Style conscious kitchen users know better than to leave the boring old toaster on the counter without a slip. You can make one yourself from fabrics offering an endless variety of patterns: paisley, stars and moons, here's one that looks like a control panel for those who might feel like bringing that antique toaster technology into the modern age. Or you can buy a finished slip from the store like this one with the big burn-hole in top, which I liked so much I left it on as I was making toast. They look great and they make a fine conversation piece. I had a visitor the other day ask me, 'What's that pillow doing on your counter?' | ||||||||||
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Friday, March 1, 2013
Star Crazy
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I dislike people who want to be stars. They're not artists, they're social climbers. They tend to be jealous of talent. They think talent goes to waste in the possession of an artist like me. When an artist posts a bunch of personal songs and stories and he doesn't immediately run out on a stage to try to be a star, they think he doesn't deserve his talent. I don't know if I'll ever perform again. I'm not worried about it because I can stay home and create. I enjoy the challenge of turning out a tune. I don't need to be on TV to have fun. This is a significant difference between real talent and social climbers: a real artist is free of TV, but social climbers feel worthless unless they're on TV. What do these comfortable fools think they would do with my talent? Do they think they'd write a good song with it? Of course not! Writing a song is hard work. They don't want to work, they want to have finished work handed to them so they can play. And writing songs takes a heart. They don't care about the world, they only care about themselves. It takes more than talent to please a crowd. They think that talent is something they can have as a bonus to their car and their cozy little job. It would only go to waste on people like that. Look at my humour. See where it comes from? You get more than a laugh out of my writing, you get an education. Maybe that's why corporations tried to turn it all into meaningless gags on their TV shows. They couldn't be in on the joke otherwise. And now they want to keep laughing when it isn't funny. And I guess it was important for them to separate my music from my humour. They may think it's unfair for a musician to be funny. I hope God will punish them. I've been trying to live a normal life for six years since the world first learned of my talent. For most of those six years the world mistook me for one of these people I dislike, one of these people who want to be stars. That's because people who want to be stars want to be stars so much that they will lie and cheat and steal to achieve their childish goal. And it's because too many people trust broadcasting corporations. They're crazy about money. Hey! Do you all remember 2007 now? I came back here, didn't I? And I stayed at the same men's shelter and I typed from the same locations? Do I have the year right? Was it from seeing my erased blogs on TV? And did they think I was crazy and send me packing? Do other musicians with famous songs think they were crazy at first? It wouldn't help if everyone around them thought so too. That's doubly crazy. Oh well, this time I've decided to send myself packing. Don't get upset now. I'm not doing it from spite. It's just nice to be able to make the decision for myself, strictly for economy's sake, and to have confidence in my talent. I don't know if anyone's expecting or even betting on me disappearing again, but I'm staying online this time. I don't like the way things turned out last time after I deleted everything. Any other outcome would have been better. Little Alec had an easier time with his Ludwig Van than I've had with my own songs. I know my songs were famous. I just didn't quite recognize them or immediately remember the few times I heard them because I wrote them all so fast in such a short time. Some crime. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Ignorance Is Strength
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Just heard that song Strong Enough to Be My Man in McDonald's. It had me wondering if people think I'm weak for 'letting' billion dollar corporations seize my music and writing, cash it in behind my back, and then erase all evidence of their crime from the internet. (Everything makes me think of that.) Well, I'm still here. I think anyone who went through that should be dead. And I paid for my opinion before they acquired it. They wouldn't have been taking such effective shots at corporations if corporations hadn't deprived me all my life while they handed out paycheques to everyone else. I also paid for writing songs before I shared them. And when I think about how imposters were thanked for what they did to me, I think that that song title should be changed to Do You Look Strong Enough to Be My Man. I don't think of myself as strong. God is strong. I can't help producing my work and sharing it. I can't oppose God's will. God is too strong for me. Otherwise, maybe I could have a decent life in this Satanic world. But as long as this industry is going to cash in my work and leave me on disability, as if to say 'it serves you right for not begging us', I don't care how strong the ones who took my work made themselves look with makeup, to me they're weak. People think you're strong if you have money. Was ENRON strong? They think you're strong if you have a lot of friends. Was Julius Caesar strong? No one is strong. If we were strong we wouldn't let ourselves be pushed around so much. They treated me the same way they would treat anyone they thought was too clever. Do you know why I had to go through that? To make me suffer. Long queues, unpleasant jobs, punishing social programs, and advertising are all there to make us suffer. Power is asserted when the higher ups see that you follow their will and not your own, as O'Brien said to Winston Smith in the Ministry of Love. But if I score with one of my punchlines about corporations, who suffers? Who will they, in return, punish at the first opportunity? Are they stronger for dishing out suffering that would drive them to madness? Or am I stronger for enduring it? I've been trying for the last few years to get up on a stage and sing my songs. First they tried to throw me in jail. Then they tried to take over my future. Then they put me on trial for re-posting old blogs. I've been hated, I've been homeless, I once went seven days without a bite to eat: all with the knowledge of the heaps of cash that were generated from the use of my creative works by others for fraud. I traveled 2,500 miles on a bus for four days and four nights only to find out that my parents don't want to see me and that I may have been betrayed by one of my brothers and that no one wants to have me in their home. I have to go to bed every night alone with visions of the international party that was thrown to punish me for being a songwriter and an author and an artist. It spans six years now. Sometimes I stare over the edge of the Granville Bridge and I'm the only one who stops me from jumping because I'm the only one there. Gee, I hope I don't sound like a wimp. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
The Pay Toilet
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(A man tries to leave a public stall without flushing the toilet, but the door won't open and a siren starts to blare.) Mechanized Voice: You have not flushed the toilet. Please turn around ... lower your face into the toilet bowl ... lower ... lower ... that's low enough. Now you may flush. (With a flush the contents of the toilet bowl shoot up and cover the man's face.) |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
The Family News
| Good evening and welcome to the Family News, carefully edited for all ages. Our top story this afternoon: a man was arrested for assaulting an eight-year-old girl who was on her way to school with her brothers. He jumped on the girl and made her brothers watch as he assaulted her. Here's an artist's rendering of what the assault probably looked like... | ||||||||||
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
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